Little victories; joy of big victories

As a young girl I struggled with crushes.  There were a whole lot of them. I had my first kiss at 13....yeah...I know...too early. Six months later I was wondering what I was thinking. Like seriously...was I blind? I had moved to a new crush. However, this time I wasn't excited I was scared. I was agitated because I knew my age and I knew it wasn't going to be anything less than 11 years for me to be ready for marriage.  I had hoped that my first crush would be my everlasting love...oh how wrong I was.

I reasoned that if I continued at that rate I would have dated 24 men before I clocked 25 if my average crush rate is 6months. That was horrifying. I didn't want that to be part of my biography.
I knew I had to do something quickly and I called myself to order.

It took me a while for the butterflies to stop flying in my tommy with the first crush but it did stop, I would have to find a way to deal with subsequent ones. Yeah I would have a crush, I would pretend I didn't have one,  and I was going to watch the feelings leave me. I would definitely sit the next ones out!

I may not have sat out up to 24 crushes but I'm sure there must have been a number. I didnt just give them enough thoughts anymore. I learnt that lesson well!!

Fast forward 12 years later and one year into my marriage as I was still trying to figure out a lot of things about myself, I met someone. It was nothing, I needed a helping hand and he offered. That was what i could do for anyone but it opened up an unnecessary door for communication. Trust me, I didn't see it coming, I was that naive, I didn't believe it was possible for someone to cheat on their spouse. He was married with kids anyways. I was wrong!

After a while I knew it was no longer a joke. He persisted. But it was kind of easy...yet a bit difficult but I deployed my well learnt strategy of not giving things that have no futuristic value in my life a second thought. I quickly also realised one thing; the 'demons' you fought at a stage in your life are not the same demons you deal with at a later stage.....you matured, so did they! But one thing is sure, if you learnt to win them, you would win them anytime, as long as you keep improving and adapting your strategies.

What am I saying? Master the discipline of dealing with issues in your life and being accountable when no one is watching and when you do not have much to loose. That may be your saving grace when you encounter issues when the stakes are higher and you have much to loose.

Conquer those little demons now...They may not always be little.

#keepstrong